Why So Many Orphans?

In talking with others about our adoption, I have realized that many people have misconceptions about why there are so many orphans in China. The prevailing thought among those I know is that daughters are simply not wanted in China and, thus, because of the country's one-child policy, are abandoned in hopes of having a boy. While that, in essence, is true, there is a whole lot more to the story...

Here is some background ... In the 1950s and 60s, China experienced a huge population growth without a huge growth in food supplies. There were famines and food riots. As a result, in 1979, the Chinese government developed population control regulations. These regulations -- known to most of us as the one-child policy -- limit the number of children each family may have, the age at which people may marry and when they can begin having children. Significant fines and penalties are imposed on families who exceed these regulations. The policy is enforced at the provincial level through fines that are imposed based on the income of the family and other factors. A family can pay a hefty fine in order to have more than one child, however, this is often impossible, especially for rural families. While these regulations have created a very large orphan population, they have accomplished their goal. Family sizes are smaller in China, and there is adequate food for the still growing population. There are exceptions to the one-child policy -- people in rural areas as well as ethnic minorities are often allowed to have two children if the first is a girl.

This may sound paradoxical, but I believe by looking at the number of children in the orphanages, you can see that the Chinese people dearly love their children. Hear me out ... for the sake of their unborn child's life, many women will attempt to conceal pregnancies so that they can give birth to a child, then later abandon him or her, just to give them a chance at life. In a country where a pregnancy can be very easily terminated, I believe it says a lot for a Chinese mother to birth a child, and then abandon him or her so that they will at least have a life ... somewhere. When the infants are abandoned, it is usually in a place where he or she will be quickly found, and it is commonly believed that some birth parents secretly watch from a distance to make sure the baby is quickly helped. A majority of these orphans are born to rural families, which means that the parents must travel to a bigger town to abandon them so that they will be found and cared for. I have also read that a majority of these orphans are probably a second daughter for the biological family. For many families, if the second child is a boy then they could keep it, but if it is a girl, they must abandon her.

So ... why so many girls abandoned? Because of culture and tradition, male children are frequently perceived as more valuable to the survival of the family. Traditionally in China, it is the responsibility of the male child to care for his parents when they are no longer able to work or care for themselves, and to carry on the family name. If a couple were to have a daughter, that daughter would marry and be responsible for her husband's parents, not her own parents. China does not have Social Security or retirement plans. A person's survival is entirely dependent on their offspring. For many, if they have a daughter, it is a death sentence. Thus, if a couple's first baby is a boy, the baby is most likely kept. If the baby is a girl, or a second or third child, a child born outside of marriage, or a child with some physical abnormality, it may be abandoned.

Special needs children are in a different category here. Most of the special needs children are abandoned because of their special needs. Either a Chinese couple does not want the responsibility of taking care of a sick child or, more likely, does not have the money and resources to care for him or her. A vast majority of the special needs children are, interestingly, boys ... like 90% are. Lia Kate is a special needs child due to her heart murmur. She was abandoned in a very public area (so that she would be found) at 12 days of age. I cannot imagine how agonizingly difficult it must have been for her birth mother to make that decision and then follow through with it.

I find it interesting that the abandoned children in China are called orphans because the very definition of an orphan is one whose parents have died. For the vast majority of China's "orphans," their biological parents are alive and well ... living with their decisions day in and day out ... victims of harsh laws and difficult circumstances ... and, perhaps, hoping and praying that their children are somewhere out there ... warm, safe, healthy, happy, loved and adopted.