Fatherly Reflections on Christmas Day

"Every true believer, whatever may be the degree of his grace, is an adopted child of God. It is not the amount of his faith, nor the closeness of his resemblance to the family, that constitutes his relationship; it is the act of adoption by which his heavenly Father has made him his own. If he can only lisp his Father's name, or bears but a single feature of likeness to the Divine image, he is as much and as really a child of God as those in whose souls the lineaments are deeply and broadly drawn, and who, with an unfaltering faith, can cry, "Abba, Father!" Doubtless there were many of feeble faith, of limited experience and of defective knowledge—mere babes in Christ—in the church to which the apostle inscribed his letter; and yet, addressing them all, he says, "Behold, what manner of love that we should be called the sons of God."   Octavius Winslow I'm not exactly sure the full definition of surreal, but if I were to begin to explain, it would definitely look like what we have gone through this past week. The first week here with Lia Kate has gone somewhat as expected, yet at the same time nothing like I could have imagined.  My heart has been stretched in so many ways.  I pause as I can not imagine why anyone would abandon a child, for whatever reason, fine or embarrassment or limitation it might incur.  As I watch our beautiful daughter in my wife's arms, I just don't see how she could have been rejected and abandoned.  We are processing this each and everyday.  It is heartbreaking to see her cling to Emily as if she will not let go again.  Even as a 16-month-old, she is grieving her most recent loss -- separation from her nanny and orphanage.  Out of fear, she will not let her heart be separated from yet another mother/care-giver ... this is why she clings so tight.  How a child this young grasps, porhaps, being unloved defies my logic. Yet, each day, trust is slowly growing between Lia Kate and Emily (and at times, this hairy guy bugging her with tickles and pop-eyes and funny faces).  She now will actually begin to reach out for a toy, latch on to Emily's necklace or gaze into Emily's eyes that so want her to know how much we love her...today, tomorrow and always.  We watch other families who have just met their sons and daughters as well--there are many at our hotel, which is odd to others here not knowing this hotel caters to adoptive families.   Most of the children have special needs, some more physically obvious than others which further illustrates God's love for us...orphans without a home, unwanted and yet graciously purchased by the blood of Christ for his glory and our joy.  I wish with all my heart that my pride and sinful false reality of beauty could be tempered by knowing Christ loved me as a wretched sinner. Emily and I don't believe we have a stronger faith that moved us towards this adoption.  We definitely don't feel we argue less or get frustrated at fewer things than other couples, or think we're perfect parents for our children.  In fact as a pastor, most days I feel overwhelmed by the weight of my sin...by the selfishness I exhibit to my wife and Britton.  Despite our weaknesses,  we just felt called to rescue/redeem/re-name a child that no one else seemed to desire.  We respond to the gospel in a way that Christ has demonstrated His love to us without merit of our own.  To give Lia Katherine, formerly Lian Jia Jing, our name of Giffen tells her she has a mother and father who will never leave her...everything we have is hers.  Legally she has more rights as my heir than even Britton! I cannot disown her. If that is not the gospel, what is!?! With all that said, I do not want to over-emotionalize this journey.  It is not so ethereal that we don't get frustrated that she doesn't sleep well or at each other when we are tired. It is boring much of the day...we have found little..err...no time to just talk.  Even our times of prayer have been hurried as Lia Kate vocally lets us know she needs attention NOW!   It is definitely a memorable Christmas, but we long to be with our son as well.  Guangzhou is, well, Guangzhou...not in your top 10 on the bucket list. I found the most time to read on the flight over.  Doug Webster gave me one of his own books a few days before we departed titled, A Christmas Journey with instructions to read the last chapter first.  It has ministered to both Emily and me.  Here is a portion from that last chapter: "Into our crisis of sin and death, God sent his own Son 'in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering' (Romans 8:3).  Christmas celebrates God's love for us. 'This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins' (1 John 4:9-10).  In love, God made the first move toward us and has continued the movement ever since.  The emotion we experience toward God is based on his grace-filled movement towards us.  For us to discover the meaning of Christmas emotionally, rather than sentimentally, means 'moving closer to God who in Jesus Christ left the preferred place of heaven to move toward us.'  He left his home to bring us home.  Thou didst leave Thy throne and Thy kingly crown When Thou camest to earth for me; But in Bethlehem's home was there found no room For thy holy nativity... Thank you all for reading our blog and for providing such encouragement...but the title of our blog, "Journey to Our Girl" only relates half the story. Our journey is not complete until we bring her home--it won't be perfect home, on this side of heaven, but I pray that she will see the love of Christ through us and with us echo one day the words, Abba Father, Come Quickly!