Lia
Kate lived in the Lianjiang SWI (Social Welfare Institute) since she
was 12 days old. To my surprise, Danny told me that Lianjiang is home to
1.6 million people. I had no idea it was that big. The SWI is on the
small side. They have about 20 infants (ages 0 to 12 months) and about
20 toddlers (12 to 24 months) and I'm not sure how many older children.
Despite being small, they have adopted out 300 children in the last 11
years. That is a lot for a small orphanage. I am so thankful they see
the importance of these children finding forever homes. They told Danny
they just sent 20 files of children to the central office in Beijing so
that families could be found for them.
Danny
arrived and they immediately went to lunch with the SWI Director and
Assistant Director and the woman in charge of the nannies, Ms. Wong. Ms.
Wong is the woman who accompanied Lia Kate to Guangzhou and who placed
her in my arms. She is also the woman who named her. Danny said they
went to a nice-looking restaurant but were escorted out the back through
an alley, past all the live animals and fish tanks and into a private
dining room. Oh, and Danny had to eat the entire meal with chopsticks
... chicken drumsticks and all. (He came home hungry.)
Danny with the Orphanage Director, Asst. Director and Ms. Wong in front of the orphanage gate.
The Orphanage Director, Asst. Director, Ms. Wong and one of Lia Kate's nannies by the baby room.
Danny used his time with the SWI administration and nannies to ask a lot of questions about Lia Kate like ... did she cry a lot (b/c she does now!)? did she hate having her diaper changed? did she have a hard time getting to sleep? is she truly walking? All things we are wondering whether this is her personality or if she is just grieving. They told him no on all the above and that yes, she was walking without assistance. He didn't believe them so he pressed again, and they told him that she truly was the best child at the orphanage, always happy and content unless another child took her toy, she slept well, cried some, loved being held and that we were very lucky to adopt her. ;o) I know the latter is true, but I am also glad to know that there is a whole different person in her that is slowly coming out. (By the way, we saw more signs of this today!)
Danny left with the impression that the people were very kind and genuinely care for the children, but that it is an orphanage in a poor area without a lot of financial means. I have to agree with him given the fact that Lia Kate has been grieving so heavily. Children who grieve after being in situations like this are usually ones who have formed attachments with a caregiver along the way. If they have formed an attachment in the past, it makes it much easier to form attachments with their parents once adopted. I have also heard from other families who have adopted from this orphanage that their children have grieved heavily as well. I am taking all this as a good sign that even though the facilities they lived in were not nice at all, they have been well cared for in this orphanage.
Before he left, Danny was able to record Ms. Wong pronouncing her name, since we still struggle with the correct pronunciation of her Chinese name (tonal languages are not easy for Americans!). He also asked the Orphanage Director and Nannies to record goodbye messages for her to hear one day. Our guide Rebecca translated and I loved the message that the Orphanage Director left her with. He said, "Ga Gang (Jia Jing), may you go and grow with joy."
I couldn't agree more. We hope that despite these difficult and traumatic beginnings, her spirit would be protected, that she will know she has been loved by many, and that she will grow with joy.
The Baby Building at the SWI.
After
lunch, they went back to tour the orphanage. The orphanage complex is
on the top of a hill overlooking the hospital. There are four buildings
on the campus. The building to the left is a nursing home, the building
to the right is apartments for workers, and the middle buildings are the
orphanage. Lia Kate was on the 2nd floor of the Baby Building where
other toddlers her age were. The 3rd floor was for infants and a back
building housed older children. They would not allow Danny to take
pictures or video the nursery, but they did let him visit. He said there
were about 20 babies in her room. They pointed out her crib, which was
empty except for a ball in it. He saw the other children who were in
cribs next to hers. One was a little boy with a cleft lip.
Danny used his time with the SWI administration and nannies to ask a lot of questions about Lia Kate like ... did she cry a lot (b/c she does now!)? did she hate having her diaper changed? did she have a hard time getting to sleep? is she truly walking? All things we are wondering whether this is her personality or if she is just grieving. They told him no on all the above and that yes, she was walking without assistance. He didn't believe them so he pressed again, and they told him that she truly was the best child at the orphanage, always happy and content unless another child took her toy, she slept well, cried some, loved being held and that we were very lucky to adopt her. ;o) I know the latter is true, but I am also glad to know that there is a whole different person in her that is slowly coming out. (By the way, we saw more signs of this today!)
Danny left with the impression that the people were very kind and genuinely care for the children, but that it is an orphanage in a poor area without a lot of financial means. I have to agree with him given the fact that Lia Kate has been grieving so heavily. Children who grieve after being in situations like this are usually ones who have formed attachments with a caregiver along the way. If they have formed an attachment in the past, it makes it much easier to form attachments with their parents once adopted. I have also heard from other families who have adopted from this orphanage that their children have grieved heavily as well. I am taking all this as a good sign that even though the facilities they lived in were not nice at all, they have been well cared for in this orphanage.
Before he left, Danny was able to record Ms. Wong pronouncing her name, since we still struggle with the correct pronunciation of her Chinese name (tonal languages are not easy for Americans!). He also asked the Orphanage Director and Nannies to record goodbye messages for her to hear one day. Our guide Rebecca translated and I loved the message that the Orphanage Director left her with. He said, "Ga Gang (Jia Jing), may you go and grow with joy."
I couldn't agree more. We hope that despite these difficult and traumatic beginnings, her spirit would be protected, that she will know she has been loved by many, and that she will grow with joy.
4 comments:
Danny, Emily, and Lia Kate,
We are laughing and crying at the same time - ever joyful. The photos and the commentary make us feel like we are in China too, laughing along with you. :)
Love,
Peggy, Lee, and Julia
This is a very moving post. I'm so glad that y'all have these pieces of Lia Kate's past. Praise God that He has brought y'all together! I'm loving reading all your updates - thanks for keeping us in the loop! Much love and prayers!
tmfmth~! too much for me to handle!!!!! i want to reach into my computer and smooch that sweet mae mae!!! little sister i am told that means in chinese! i can't wait to see her! i will keep my distance and just cry!!! i have loved following the blog. i want a little baby from china and brett says no....i will keep working on him. i love you!!!
Estoy leyendo por primera vez esta historia bonita de Lia Kate y quisiera deciros que nuestra niña también en del organato de Lianjiang y se llama Lian. Fuimos a China en julio de 2010 y nos conocimos en la misma sala de sofás con lunares blancos y negros que aparecen en vuestro vidéo.
Me gustaría saber si tenéis imágenes del interior del orfanato por si apareciera nuestra niña por un casual. Gracias desde España de Jose Ignacio.
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